Retro

The World’s Funniest Social Protest Song

Danielle Evenson — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:14:50 +0000

This song from George McKelvey entitled “My Teenage Fallout Queen” is burning up on Boing Boing. It’s a funny protest song speaking out against nuclear arms. I totally agree with it, but I sort of wish my girlfriend had three hands. It could only help our relationship.

For more crazy protesting, check out 7 Protest Signs That Make Us Want To Burn Our Bras and Uncle Sam’s interview with James Carville.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who would like to be your radiation baby.

Hair Dryer Makes You Look Like An Idiot

Danielle Evenson — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 22:19:47 +0000

Thanks to Everything is Terrible for this great clip. The Revo Styler will not only straighten then curl your hair, it will also make you look like a crazy and scary lady! Sign me up for two, right after I untangle this mess from my head.

Also check out the 10 Worst Hairdos In Rock And Pop History and 9 Presidents Who Rocked The Sweetest Facial Hair.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who needs a cut and blow dry.

Higgins From ‘Magnum, P.I.’ Hosts World’s Lamest Money Hunt

Danielle Evenson — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:30:25 +0000

Everything is Terrible brings us the silliest money hunt from the 1980s. It’s trashy noir, has bad editing and even worse dialogue. It’s fantastic, AND it’s hosted by the guy who played Higgins on “Magnum, P.I.” (or at least a reasonable facsimile).

For more money madness, check out these 11 Ways To Save Money In This Tough Economy and 10 Things We’d Do With All That Stimulus Money.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who likes dolla dolla bills, y’all.

Soupy Sales Introduces Alice Cooper To A Piano Playing Bug

Danielle Evenson — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:11:58 +0000

RIP Soupy Sales! Several sites (including Best Week Ever) posted this video commemorating Sales’ death today. In a delightful episode of “The Soupy Sales Show” Soupy finds a piano playing bug, then Alice Cooper comes over and chaos ensues.

For other crazy musicians, check out 10 Totally Surprising Musicians Who Twitter and 10 Unluckiest Musicians In Rock History.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who is not dead.

The Boys Are Blown Away By Alice Wrigley: Gal Reporter

Daniel Tosh Almost Busts His Junk While Reenacting ‘Rad’

Danielle Evenson — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:00:14 +0000

I totally don’t understand it either. I was either too young or too drunk to remember the wonder of the movie “Rad.” Whatever it was, Daniel Tosh reenacts a sweet scene where a dude has to jump his bike from a truck. It looks super fun to me… especially after drinking a few cocktails.

For more goodness from the 1980s, check out 15 Inappropriate 80’s Movie Quotes To Say While Having Sex and 7 John Hughes Characters That Would Be Best In Bed.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who might not be nerdie enough for “Tosh .0.”

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What Should You Do On Your Third Date? Drugs!

Danielle Evenson — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:00:54 +0000

Trying to figure out whether you should do pills, pot or your favorite vintage of heroin? Check out this video posted today on Today’s Big Thing. It will help you decide what’s just right for your specific dating style.

Like to get high? Check out the 7 Worst Names For Variety Of California Medicinal Marijuana and 15 Weird Things Ancient Cultures Used To Do While Stoned.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who is looking for something for date 79.

Celebrate Democracy With A Barack Obama Chia Head

Danielle Evenson — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:42:18 +0000

Videogum has another amazing hit with this commercial for the Barack Obama Chia Pet. It’s amazing. It’s insulting. It’s arriving in four to six weeks.

For more Obama nonsense, check out these 7 Best Rap Songs About Barack Obama and 9 Photos Of Barack Obama Drinking And Smoking.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who has an irrational fear of all things Chia.

Soleil Moon Frye Hits A Million Twitter Followers, Dresses Up Like Punky Brewster To Celebrate

15 Funniest Funerals

tony.digerolamo — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:09:00 +0000

Funerals, not at all funny.

Let’s face it, dying can really put a damper on your party and funerals are just no fun (unless you’re a dead member of the Kennedy family or having one of these 8 Strangest Reactions To Ted Kennedy’s Death). If only the corpse could sit up and say, “Listen, I’m dead, stop crying already. I had a good run.” But there are a few unusual individuals who make their funeral comedy gold. In honor of Edgar Allen Poe’s 160 year-late funeral, we bring you now the most hilarious coffin jockeys in history and the 15 Funniest Funerals.

15. Eddie Van Halen and Zakk Wylde Rock Funeral
During the funeral for metal guitarist, “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott, Eddie and Zak got drunk and gave profanity-laced tributes. Very metal! I wonder if the corpse crowd surfed to the hearse.

14. Grim bet begets wacky funeral
Two soldiers bet each other that if one of them died, the other would have to show up in the funeral in a bright green dress and pink leg warmers. Sadly, one of them won. But happily, I think the deceased soldier got a good laugh from beyond the grave.

13. Belinda Emmett’s Funeral Song
Belinda was a popular actress and singer in Australia that died of cancer in 2006, but that didn’t stop her from having a Monty Python song played at her funeral. I don’t know if the parrot sketch would’ve gotten as many laughs at her wake, however.

“I’m not quite dead yet!” C’mon, Belinda would’ve laughed at that.

12. Isaac Hayes says, “Goodbye children!”
Isaac had a real funeral and a secret funeral for all his celebrity buddies and Scientologists. Tom Cruise, Kelly Preston and Doug E. Fresh made an appearance. Sounds more like a romantic comedy than a funeral, but at least Isaac is finally rid of his alien parasites.

11. Funeral Singer not candidate for American Idol
This is an omazing video.

10. Last Corpse Standing
A Puerto Rican man’s last wish was to remain standing at his own funeral and wake, so the funeral home obliged him.

Angel gets a goodbye kiss from his bro, Carlos.

9. WoW Funeral
Apparently, this player died in real life, so a group of her online friends got together to continue their sedentary lifestyles (that are probably slowly killing them) online to honor their friend in a WoW funeral. Unfortunately, another group of players decided to raid the funeral and kill everybody. No doubt the dead WoW player would be proud.

8. Funeral and Mini Golf
While this isn’t a specific funeral, I’m considering booking mine here. Funerals can be such a drag when you don’t have anything to do. It’s a good thing this funeral home has a mini golf course. I’d like to hold my wake at the little windmill on hole 9 please.

7. Funeral Fight
Classy.

6. French funeral for Anime character, Goku
Poor Goku. Now he’s beating up angels in heaven!

5. Chrysler demands body
Our car manufacturers may be broke, but they still make demands. Harold St. John, involved in an asbestos lawsuit against Chrysler, died in the middle of the trial. The car manufacturer delivered a subpoena for the body at the funeral so they could rush the warm corpse to a coroner. No wonder my LeBaron is a piece of sh*t.

4. Heath Ledger’s Beach Funeral A-Go-Go
Heath Ledger’s wake turned into a day at the beach for attendees, who jumped into the water to let off some steam and probably pee. Finally, an excuse to wear my black sun block and I miss it.

3. Drunk Pastor Ruins Service
A Swedish family is asking for 30,000 Euros in damages after the pastor got blitzed and did the funeral drunk. He kissed the hand of the deceased and gave an exaggerated hug to her 20 year-old granddaughter. Well, at least he didn’t vomit inside the coffin.

“Hey, you got the number of that pastor?”

2. Insane Clown Posse Theme Funeral for Baby
Finally, something to make my Eddie Van Halen look sane.

1. Hamster Viking Funeral
Boy are the Vikings going to be surprised when he gets to Vahalla.

God bless dead people. Also check out the 10 Greatest Cartoon Ghosts and these twin dead midget wrestlers.

Posted by Tony DiGerolamo, who plans to be frozen like a sane person.

Telecast From The ’80s Predicts The Future: Angels To Man Spaceships

Danielle Evenson — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:00:28 +0000

Everything is Terrible finds wonderful and ridiculous things. Check out this weird part-televangelist, part-psychic as he tries to predict the future 1980’s style. Russia will invade Israel, UFOs will be manned by angels and will fetch us (not you, sinner) at the Rapture, and everybody will get a glorified body. Hot damn!

This makes me miss church. Check out our church blooper compilation and these 10 Songs It Would Be Most Awkward To Sing In Church.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who loves her glorified body. She might even bedazzle it.

20 Weirdest Pop Versions Of The Last Supper

amanda.meadows — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:00:03 +0000

As you may know, Leonardo da Vinci dabbled a bit in art, and painted a pretty popular piece called The Last Supper (1495-1498). (Kanye West interrupted it in 2009.) Then, Al Gore invented a little thing called “the Internet,” and the rest was history. There’s now a Last Supper for everything, from leather daddies to “Battlestar Galactica” (often including these 10 Hottest Girls Of Science Fiction). Get ready to remember your various pop culture saviors with 20 Weirdest Pop Versions of “The Last Supper.” Thanks, Internet!

20. LAN Party Last Supper
The only people who could be smellier than the those at the actual last supper.

19. Starving Models Last Supper
They’re all fighting for the smallest piece of bread!

18. “South Park” Last Supper
This episode was great enough to forgive the obvious visual gag.

17. “Battlestar Galactica” Last Supper
Everyone’s favorite “Last Supper” mock-up. It rests at #17 because I already see it every night, on my bedroom ceiling.

16. Gay Fair Last Supper
Clearly, the Folsum Street Fair knows its target audience.

15. Political Pundits Last Supper
Everyone wants a piece of Obama. He’s the Britney Spears of the table.

14. Gordon Ramsay’s Last Supper
Gordon Ramsay is a lot like Jesus, especially in the “constantly screaming ‘f*ck’ at you” department.

13. The Last… Breakfast!
All your favorite breakfast guys on one table. This is a stoner’s dream!

12. “Star Wars” Last Supper
Another spoof more classic than the original. Samuel L. Jackson steals another scene.

11. Raptor Jesus Last Supper
This isn’t entirely a joke–many people believe Raptor Jesus is Lord! Thank you, 4channers!

1o. Zombie Last Supper
The Louvre should just add an extra wing devoted to zombie versions of its most famous paintings.

9. Moe’s Tavern Last Supper
While not the best “Simpsons” gag ever, Moe consoling Lenny gets me every time.

8.Vintage DC Heroes Last Supper
Look at all the Kraft products! Finally, a Last Supper with foods I care about!

7. Looney Tunes Last Supper
What the Grinch would be saying to the Roadrunner I couldn’t dare venture.

6. “Sesame Street” Last Supper
Big Bird as Jesus is the safest choice, but let’s put in a vote for Grover next time.

5. “Super Smash Bros.” Last Supper
Is it weird that I find Pikachu on Donkey Kong’s shoulder comforting?

4. Scary Clowns Last Supper
All your favorite clowns, from all three Jokers to Homie da Clown, all here for one thing: nightmare fuel.

3.The Muppets’ Last Supper
Extra bonus points for Jim Henson under the table!

2. Lego Last Supper
The best “Last Suppers” are the ones made in different media. Who wouldn’t want to own Lego Jesus?!

1.Etch-A-Sketch Last Supper
The genius who could do this hopefully realizes that with just one shake, it will be ruined.

Honorable Mentions:
These guys almost made the cut, but should be included anyway!

“M*A*S*H” Last Supper
There’s nothing M*A*S*H couldn’t do at that time.

Quentin Tarnatino’s Last Supper
Question: Of all the women, who would be Mary Magdalene?

Do you love yourself a little religion? Also check out the 20 Greatest Jewish Dads and 15 Strangest Pope Facts.

Posted by Amanda Meadows who could use a meal.

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