You know us. We love old-fashioned things that make us smile. But we also love old-fashioned things that make us cringe!
So, we were going through a bunch of our old books, and we came across a 1970s masterpiece called A Sigh Of Relief: The First-Aid Handbook For Childhood Emergencies by Martin I. Green. Our lives have never been the same. Sure this book could be helpful if we were babysitting, but really what A Sigh of Relief has done for us, is haunt our dreams and give us night terrors for the rest of our time on earth.
Here are our favorite illustrations from A Sigh Of Relief (most ironic title for a book ever) along with the nightmares they have induced.
8. Eyes
Kids love to Play Clockwork Orange!
7. Butt
Do not let your kid sit bare-assed on a communicability sign. That’s just gross.
6. Vampire Bites
If your child has been bitten by the undead
1) Check to see if he is also undead.
2) Get drunk by the fire and threaten him with a small knife.
3) Get him addicted to heroin.
4) Wash way the evidence.
5. Immunization Schedule
What are those kids doing? What kind of position is that to be sitting in? There is no way that that is comfortable.
4.Campfire
It’s OK to be a third wheel. Just let Daddy and Mommy stare sexily at each other and ignore you.
3. Kiss
If a ghost is trying to make out with your child, touch his soul with two fingers and hope for the best.
2. Date Rape
Make sure your date is completely passed out before removing their clothing.
1. Pinata
1) Collect fuse buttons.
1A) Stuff buttons into a child using a stick, and tie the child up with a rope.
1C) Use child as a Pinata.
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